Squirrels, a Gibson, and Steven Tyler
To take my mind off the news for a spell, and since there’s nothing like a captive audience (you lucky dogs you), let me regale you with an episode involving our beloved squirrels.
Really, I never thought much about the little guys before moving here, and now I’m wondering how I could have been so oblivious to their existence and little personalities. Many folks have stopped and struck up conversations, so it’s also been a nice way to meet people. However, sometimes I need to glare at the dog walkers who let their dogs run through our garden after our squirrels. Hmpf.
So early this year Laura called me downstairs and said that there was SOMEONE OUTSIDE MESSING WITH THE SQUIRRELS. I got all aggressive and went to open the door, only to find that it was one of my neighbors (named Hayden), who had seen me feeding the squirrels by hand and was trying to do it herself. She looked embarrassed, and I just laughed and said something to the effect that she was one of many in the neighborhood who’d fallen under the spell of our furry friends. Hayden tells me that she loves animals, and I’ve already seen her boyfriend (let’s call him “Dude”) out walking with their two dogs. So we all bond over the animals and that’s nice, it warms my heart to be around other animal lovers.
Fast forward a couple of weeks to when Laura and I had friends from grad school for dinner: At the end of the night, I help the friends back out of our garage and run into Dude who invites me over for a beer. It was late, so I thought I’d go drink a quick beer with them to meet and greet and be nice, probably about a half-hour tops (I need my beauty sleep in my old age).
One thing leads to another and we’re happily chatting along, and it feels a lot like late-night in a (high-end) dorm room because these animal lovers are also nice to talk to. Two big differences from a dorm room are that there’s a gorgeous Gibson acoustic guitar sitting across the room and some late-model Bose speakers, but aside from pricier furnishings, it feels like a dorm conversation but composed of adults. After a little while, the conversation turns to what we all do for a living, and Hayden tells me she’s been in some TV shows and movies. I had been warned by an LA friend in the movie biz that people in Hollywood will wildly exaggerate accomplishments. So when my neighbor tells me she’s been in TV shows and movies, I just politely nod. She doesn’t look at all familiar so these are probably bit parts and commercials. But fine: Making a living out of bit parts is already quite an accomplishment here in LA. Then the Dude says: She is being modest. He then lists a bunch of movies and TV shows, exactly ZERO I’ve ever heard of. Now I’m embarrassed, and I try to defuse the situation by telling them the last TV show I saw in first-run primetime was M*A*S*H. (This is true, I mostly stopped watching TV in the early 80s.) Hayden’s eyes light up, and she declares that she LOVES the fact that I’ve never heard of her and this explains why we’re having such a fun, normal conversation.
So we continue having this fun, normal conversation, and a little while later Dude decides to bring up a clip of Hayden singing on one of her shows. It turns out that she has a beautiful voice, and I’m reasonably blown away by the scene and her singing… Wow! The only coherent thing I can think to say: Is that really you singing?! It turns out: Yes she is, there is no overdub with someone else’s voice.
And then Steven Tyler comes out on stage to join her.
After this clip, I politely pick my jaw up off the floor and want to make an effort to bring back the vibe of a fun, normal conversation, so I go over to the Gibson acoustic guitar that has just been sitting across the room the entire time. I’m not particularly knowledgeable about the entire line of Gibson acoustic guitars, but this one looks pretty high end and I pick it up only to find out it’s far out of tune. The Dude asks, do you play? To which I respond: Only a little, and I don’t have much time these days. He asked if I could tune it for him, because he’s just learning and Hayden doesn’t play.
At this point, I sense through my beers that something is not adding up: This is a gorgeous Gibson acoustic, it runs at least five thousand bucks and no one in the house can play it? It sits there untuned? My WTF meter is completely pinned, and so I tune it up and rip off rudimentary 12-bar blues. I haven’t played in a while and suck, but the sound from this guitar makes me sound better than I am. Or maybe it’s the beers messing with my hearing. Anyway, Dude then explains this guitar was custom and given to her by Gibson for the show.
Eventually I realized I’ve just embarrassed myself by playing bad guitar in front of someone who sings with Steven Tyler and for whom Gibson will make a custom issue.
What a night.
Anyway, the clip is here:
Postscript: A follow-up to this post about Hayden Panettiere is here. This entry originally posted on FB here.